Broken Dreams - Arrows

[Arrows]

http://soundcloud.com/ayf/untitled-dub

About 80% done with this. I've put it down for now, I've run out of ideas for it. Just want to know what people think.

Comments & Constructive criticism appreciated.

~Arrows

[psilogod]

not too bad. It's a bit repetitive with the main little arpeggio melody going through almost the entire song.

The orchestral stuff in the beginning is nice, but the melody should go away at the first drop at 1:30, or be introduced the first time there.

also, when the sub bass comes in at 2:30 it sounds distorted and overpowers everything else which is causing a dip in volume on everything else.

hi hats also come in way too late in the song. try putting them in on the first drop at 1:30.

all in all, not horrible, but it needs a lot of work to get the song out of it. It feels like a 8 bar loop of ideas being repeated throughout which makes me lose interest. It has potential though to be molded into something solid. Keep it up.

[Arrows]

not too bad. It's a bit repetitive with the main little arpeggio melody going through almost the entire song.

The orchestral stuff in the beginning is nice, but the melody should go away at the first drop at 1:30, or be introduced the first time there.

also, when the sub bass comes in at 2:30 it sounds distorted and overpowers everything else which is causing a dip in volume on everything else.

hi hats also come in way too late in the song. try putting them in on the first drop at 1:30.

all in all, not horrible, but it needs a lot of work to get the song out of it. It feels like a 8 bar loop of ideas being repeated throughout which makes me lose interest. It has potential though to be molded into something solid. Keep it up.

Thank you for the detailed comments Kevin.

I'll try to work on it.

At first when I started making tracks it was almost like a chore, now that I know the program better it's tons of fun.  I just wish I had a better computer to work on it with... The project file for this one slows my computer to a halt. Whenever I want to listen to changes I have to render. Oh well.

Thanks again 

[psilogod]

what program are you using?

[CRiSiS]

The arp definitely gets old quick. It's also way loud at times... has way too much dynamics. You should use a compressor to tame the peaks and bring the dynamics under control.

It sounds like there is a song playing in the background... the arp sound just distracts you from hearing it.  

Also at 1:35, I expected it to drop way harder. The build up was good, built some energy, and then it just kinda flopped into the meat of the track... which wasn't much. But you are new to this, and it will take time to figure out how to control the energy of the song... A good tip is to have parts of contrast in your song. Use your sounds to change the focal point of the track. Like Kevin said, that arp sound goes way too long. It would have been a great change up if you switched the focal point by dropping the arp at 1:35, and let the bass play the lead. You could achieve this by layering a bass sound with higher frequency content (like a raspy sounding bass made from saw/sqaure waves), and playing it like a lead instrument... and have the sub support the lead.

Also another tip for your build ups... Sometimes just dropping everything in directly after the build up kills the energy you amassed during the build up. It sounds like this is the case on this track. If you put like a one bar gap after your build, and fill it with some sort of pitch sweep, or a tease of the bass... or something, and then drop everything in... It might keep the energy a little better. This is because of the contrast between the build and the meat of the track. You have all this energy going into the build, and then it breaks to something that is not quite as much energy, but also not a stark contrast. This only serves to bring the energy level down. However if you build all that energy, then you cut to alot less energy for a bar, when you bring the full track in it seems to keep a lot more energy because that which came before it had almost no energy at all... so It sounds like the track jumps in energy level as opposed to falling in energy level.

Not a bad attempt. Definitely keep working at it, as you have plenty of potential.

[Arrows]

what program are you using?

FL 9 

+Native Instruments, Circle, and a bunch of other software synths.

The arp definitely gets old quick. It's also way loud at times... has way too much dynamics. You should use a compressor to tame the peaks and bring the dynamics under control.

It sounds like there is a song playing in the background... the arp sound just distracts you from hearing it. 

Also at 1:35, I expected it to drop way harder. The build up was good, built some energy, and then it just kinda flopped into the meat of the track... which wasn't much. But you are new to this, and it will take time to figure out how to control the energy of the song... A good tip is to have parts of contrast in your song. Use your sounds to change the focal point of the track. Like Kevin said, that arp sound goes way too long. It would have been a great change up if you switched the focal point by dropping the arp at 1:35, and let the bass play the lead. You could achieve this by layering a bass sound with higher frequency content (like a raspy sounding bass made from saw/sqaure waves), and playing it like a lead instrument... and have the sub support the lead.

Also another tip for your build ups... Sometimes just dropping everything in directly after the build up kills the energy you amassed during the build up. It sounds like this is the case on this track. If you put like a one bar gap after your build, and fill it with some sort of pitch sweep, or a tease of the bass... or something, and then drop everything in... It might keep the energy a little better. This is because of the contrast between the build and the meat of the track. You have all this energy going into the build, and then it breaks to something that is not quite as much energy, but also not a stark contrast. This only serves to bring the energy level down. However if you build all that energy, then you cut to alot less energy for a bar, when you bring the full track in it seems to keep a lot more energy because that which came before it had almost no energy at all... so It sounds like the track jumps in energy level as opposed to falling in energy level.

Not a bad attempt. Definitely keep working at it, as you have plenty of potential.

Thanks for the tips Crisis. I'll keep that in mind for the future.

 

[ryan]

hey i took a listen to your sound cloud. tracks are not bad. You have some good ideas goin, you just need to flesh them out a bit more. Continue to experiment with everything. FL studio is awesome for this.

some advice- once you have a few ideas put together, put the "skeleton" of the track together. like intro>Verse>chorus>bridge>2ndverse>2ndchorus>outro. Then start adding new bits and peices. You will then have sort of a time line of what needs to be where and when. Your tracks now kinda jus go verse chorus verse chorus. 

Glad to see you producing Arrows, just stay on it.

[Arrows]

hey i took a listen to your sound cloud. tracks are not bad. You have some good ideas goin, you just need to flesh them out a bit more. Continue to experiment with everything. FL studio is awesome for this.

some advice- once you have a few ideas put together, put the "skeleton" of the track together. like intro>Verse>chorus>bridge>2ndverse>2ndchorus>outro. Then start adding new bits and peices. You will then have sort of a time line of what needs to be where and when. Your tracks now kinda jus go verse chorus verse chorus. 

Glad to see you producing Arrows, just stay on it.

Thx

I've noticed it too and I have tons of ideas, I just dont know how to put it down into FL. And by the time I figure it out my original idea is gone. 

Plus I have absolutely no formal music training whatsoever..

Learning slowly but I think I've made progress..

Thanks for the tips everyone